Who the fuck is Corey Mesler and why does he hate me so much?

Look, I like poetry. I do. There are some things, however, that might be too good: Dicks over nine inches, Heroin, and Corey Mesler. Like, shit so good that you know if you keep doing it you just might end up killing him, stealing from your grandmother, or having to stop writing because you know you will never be as good. You know, like if I kept reading Corey Messler, I would have to kill my grandmother and stop writing.

"Some Identity Problems, " was sent to me yesterday. I took it to the old shit man's house today, and we ended up at the hospital because he vomited all over himself and passed out. Clearly, I had time to read.

I will assume the following about Corey Messler from this book: A. He would be annoying to live with, B. He would be great in bed, and C. He would dress funny and wear weird hats.

Also, he would vaguely and specifically tell you all about yourself, and you would be lying in the middle of his hard wood floors in a pool of your own tears, cum, and some flower petals he added for good measure.

His writing is painful. All things true hurt. All true things hurt. So does having an ulcer.

From Genesis, he writes, "On the Seventh Day God withdraws like a limp lover. This is the beginning of the possibilities of poetry." Are you kidding, Corey Messler? Who the fuck do you think you are writing something so fucking good that instead of lying round on Trazadone after a 12 hour work day, I am doing this. Also, I have gas.

And Corey also knows how it feels to be a woman. And he is not gay. And I don't even think he is sensitive. I cannot imagine him fucking a dude in the ass. I would like to, though. In fact, I need to take a break to imagine it. Blues for Wendy Ward..."After 20 years I find a picture of you inside a book of art. Your smile is patient: You were waiting for what life would bring you after me." I hate you Corey Messler, because you are a better woman than I am. Fuck, he even writes about childbirth in a way that makes me give a shit about his fucking kid, even though other people's kids are stupid (The Story of the Beginning).

Also, I am jealous of Lita. This bitch must be the shit. From Lita, "She still dazzles, and this, my friends, is just, like rain or death." Ignore the immature usage of commas. Lita is prettier than you anyway, which is the only reason you noticed the commas.

Someone on my facebook said, "You make me want to start and stop writing. He just makes me want to stop writing." This was not said about Corey, it was said about someone else. And he meant it to be shitty to the writer he thought was full (Canada) total (America) shit.

I am not going to purchase every single book Corey has written. I am going to flirt with him until he sends me all of them. And then I am going to stop writing poetry. Fucker.